This Week’s New York Thing: Upper West Side Cupcake ATM

In this little slice of blog, we are going to try to tell you about the “New York Thing” of the week. You know, that thing that makes the rounds on the blogosphere and social media. The thing that people lazily discuss on the L train on their way home from freelance jobs. In short, the thing that people can’t stop talking about.

Cupcakes are becoming as much a part of the New York landscape as street art and bandwagon sports fans. In NYC, you can find cupcakes large and small, corporate and mom & pop, vegan and bacon topped. But, this week’s New York Thing represents the next step in the cupcake frontier … a cupcake ATM.

That’s right. Money in. Cupcake out.

I know what you’re thinking. Who gives a damn about cupcakes? Gentlemen, heed my words. So, what happens when you step out for a night of heavy drinking with your lady or somehow manage to convince a girl to go home with you from the bar? Sure enough, towards to end of the night, you get hungry for some McDonalds or some pizza or whatever the Hell it is that your drunk ass might crave. Am I right? And as soon as your inebriated eyes follows those neon lights and your taste buds drift towards greasy bliss … an endless stream of complaining from your lady is sure to ensue. “How could you eat that!” “I’m not eating that!” “Are you trying to make me fat!” “This place smells disgusting!” “That hobo tried to grope me while you were ordering!”

No longer will you have to suffer these drunken barbs from your girl when you just have to have a Crif Dog, because now there is a great equalizer. Bitches love cupcakes. Sure, right now the only twenty-four hour cupcake dispenser is on the Upper West Side, a nightlife no man’s land. But, soon enough, we will see these confectionary cash machines pop up like so many weeds in Williamsburg, the Village, and LES. Consider this an icing topped, sprinkle laden prophecy.

What does this mean for you? Rather than your girl nagging you when you are just trying to get your chili cheese fries on, she will be stuffing her face with some delicious red velvet. This is a godsend, gentlemen. You’re welcome for the heads up.

First off I apologize for the lack of posts within the last week but with holidays and our tour I haven’t had much time or an internet connection. Hopefully you kept up with us on our trip through the live blog we were doing, if not you can still view all the photos on our twitter.

Right before leaving for our tour I had to stop by my screen printer who is based out of Greenpoint, Brooklyn which for those of you that don’t know, is a very Polish community. I brought along Kalina who is fluent in the language and we decided to venture into some of the local shops.

We started off in a local bakery where we bought some paczki (polish donuts). These are some of the best donuts in the world when made correctly and this place did not disappoint. I will definitely be returning for some more.

Next we stopped by the screen printers studio where he gave me a sneak peek into a project he has been working very diligently on, and with good reason. The project shown above has been created by a well known artist that I am unable to reveal at the moment and will be displayed at the Whitney Museum here in NYC very shortly.

We ended the trip trying to find the right polish bodega with the limited Milka bar flavors, for those of you that have never had a Milka bar you need to try one. Milka bars are, in my opinion, the best chocolate bar on the market. The standard flavors can be found in most stores but the limited flavors like the yogurt one we tried is usually only found in smaller european owned corner stores. We also picked up some Delicje which are these awesome cookies with a jelly filling. Overall it was a great trip, special shout out to Kalina for translating!

(Disclosure: This isn’t actually how Mint Lyfe feels about this video but this is absolutely hilarious!)

Rap Video Critique: Ni***s in Paris – Jay-Z & Kanye West

Grade: F

Children’s toys are not “hard”. Nor are they “cray”. This is a lesson that I don’t think Jay-Z and Kanye want to learn. This video is formatted more like an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba or Dora the Explorer than an actual music video. I want to know exactly how high you have to be to arrive at the following dialogue:

Jay-Z: Hey Kanye, what do you think would be a good theme for our music video for our extremely popular song?

Kanye: Hmm … perhaps we should theme the whole thing after a kaleidoscope.

Jay-Z: What?

Kanye: Kaleidoscope … you know, like the children’s toy. Maybe a couple lasers too.

Jay-Z: Sure man. You’re the young buck here. You know what the kids like these days.

As if these weren’t enough, we have the warning at the beginning of the video, which reads: “This video has been identified by epilepsy action to potentially trigger seizures for people with photosensitive epilepsy.” How badass. You know what else triggered epilepsy? Pokemon. The lame Japanese children’s cartoon, Pokemon. One of these men sleeps with Beyonce. The other one sleeps with whoever he wants whenever he wants.

This is a disgrace.

But I digress. The point of this blog is to treat rap videos from a cinematic perspective … to give them the analysis they properly deserve. So what is accomplished in this video thematically? Well let’s see. We have these children’s tropes … the kaleidoscope, the omage to Japanese cartoons. Out of nowhere, about three minutes into the video, we see large jungle cats appear on screen … a lion and a black panther to be precise … so perhaps, what Jay-Z and Kanye are doing here is juxtaposing the innocence of the kaleidoscope with the carnal presence of these two jungle cats …

No, you know what, forget it. This is an instance of two people with ridiculous amounts of money and power being able to do whatever the Hell they want. I just imagine the dialogue:

Director: Mr. West … Mr. Z … we have a treatment for the video prepared. We decided we would frame the two of you as modern day action heroes who –

Kanye: (cutting off director) Kaleidescopes and Panthers.

Jay-Z: You heard the man.

Kanye: And make sure it sets off people’s epilepsy.

Director: (meekly) Sure.

Granted, most rap videos don’t have a plot per se, but we can expect sweeping crane shots over a club of fine booty popping ladies. That I understand. Instead we get rail thin girls waving their hair around … I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

The bottom line is this. You should never leave a rap video saying, “Man, that stock footage of Will Ferrell was the best part.” I will watch the throne gentlemen, because you kings are drunk on power, and are soon to be deposed.

A few days ago my good friends Brandon, Amanda K., and Amanda B. took some time out of their busy lives to shoot the Mint Lyfe Summer ’12 Lookbook. It was an early morning filled with bagels, popsicles, milkshakes, and lots of laughs. All three of these people do really awesome things with their lives and all of that info will be released with the official launch of the lookbook but for now I just wanted to share some of the fun we had.

The morning started off extremely foggy.

Getting the studio set up before the girls come in.

Brandon testing out the lighting.

Amanda K. eating breakfast before the shoot.

A-Beezy throwing down that Mint Lyfe (sorry had to paint out the graphic).

Amanda K. … I don’t really know.

Amanda K. enjoying a popsicle on set (again apologies, but it will be worth the wait).

I used to love these jokes when I was a kid, I love them even more now.

Mint Lyfe is proud to present our newest contributor to our blog, Brenden Gallagher! Brenden is a really great guy and he is one of the funniest people I have met in a long, long time. Not only that but he does some really awesome work such as writing for Complex Magazine’s City Guide, and producing and acting in his own web series CrisisPR. Brenden will be adding some comedic relief to our blog quite regularly and we couldn’t be more excited! Be sure to check out the exclusive interview below.

OGO: Tell us a little bit about your self.

Brenden: I am a filmmaker and writer based in New York City. I recently founded a production company, Beer Money Films, along with co-producer Steve Brown. We just lauched our first project, Crisis PR, a comedy web series (www.crisisprshow.com). As a writer, my work is most often seen at complex.com, though I write for several other outlets as well.

You can follow me on twitter: @muddycreekU.

You can follow Crisis PR: @crisisprshow or on Facebook.

OGO: Who and/or what inspires you?

Brenden: The absurdity of every day life. It amazes me, the things people care about and fight for. Sure, that is the substance of drama, but it is also the substance of comedy.

OGO: What is it like working for Complex Magazine?

Brenden: I freelance for Complex.com’s City Guide. It’s funny, because with any client you have to respect their voice and their brand. So, for me, some of the same considerations come into play if I am writing a commercial for frozen yogurt or writing for a hip-hop magazine … it’s just more fun writing for a hip-hop magazine.

I am in an interesting position writing for Complex, because I end up writing things for my editor that have nothing to do with hip-hop. I really don’t know a lot about the community, being from rural Pennsylvania. And some times I’ll do something dumb, like reference Nelly, and he’ll have to fix my work from a street cred perspective. My favorite article I’ve don’t so far is “top ten nyc tourist attractions to have sex in”.

OGO: Tell us about your newest project Crisis PR.

Brenden: Crisis PR is a web series about an inept PR/advertising firm that tries to help a new failing client each week. It is the result of our meeting some really talented writers, actors, and technicians doing bitch work on film sets and thinking we could do better. You’ll see some guys from the UCB theatre, local stand-up comedians, and seasoned stage actors all working together on the show. This was great fun for me, because we were making something cool and building a community.

OGO: What can we look forward to seeing from you in the future?

Brenden: Beer Money Films is developing a comedy pilot that should be shooting in early summer, which is the next big thing on the horizon. But, I am always writing and Beer Money is always trying to put the next project together, whether it be another series, a commercial or a short film.